This is the most transparent piece and I’ll probably ever write. Simply because I am a pimp. Yes, a pimp as in “pimp smack”, as in “I got heauxs that pay me” pimp. And because I’m a pimp, it's mandated that I maintain composure within an impregnable persona. But I need to write this. I’ve noticed recently that people have been matching their current actions to a social media post they’ve previously written. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. With this work, I am the prophet putting forth orders for myself to fulfill.
I’m the coldest. And not in a superficial way, but I’m the coldest in the Lil Wayne 2006 kind of way. But for the sake of a linear thread in this essay, I’m the coldest in an Iceberg/Fillmore Slim kind of way. I’m from the midwest, so being a playa is in me. It's part of our culture (hence the resonance with pimps). But I went to Morehouse College so it taught me how to "pontificate" so well that I even run game on myself.
“Run game on yourself? Like you pimp yourself and take your money?”
No, but yes too. And therein lies the problem. No I don’t take dollars out my pocket and confess to never leave me, but yes because I potentially lose out on money.
“Really? How so?
It boils down to three things. By convincing myself: 1) that it’s not urgent, 2) having negative motivations, and the biggest con of all is 3) convincing myself I’m not the coldest. Sounds strange considering I opened the second paragraph with an unabashed statement of “I’m the coldest”
1. Not Urgent
Time - the most precious finite resource we have. When you don’t go after your goals, visions, and dreams with consistent and constant fervor - you’re running game on yourself. Urgency requires prioritization. If it ain't urgent, it ain't first. If it's just “important” it may as well take a number because its life, hella shit is important, but not everything is urgent.
2. Negative Motivations
Not negative in the bad vibe sense, but in the battery powered, positive & negative charge sense. See, there are positive and negative motives. Positive motivations are when you move toward something, negative motivations are when you move away from something. The primary difference is your focus. Positive motivations - you focus on what you want. Negative motivations - you focus on what you don’t want. If you’ve seen “The Secret” you know focusing on what you don’t want is all bad. Negative motivations work for some time but fizzle out the further away you get from what you didn’t want. And in the case of “money-getting” (as called by P.T. Barnum) you lose the hunger when you eat instead of growing a larger appetite. If you need an example, see the rise & fall of Mike Tyson.
3.”Not The Coldest” aka DOUBT
Right. The title is illogical in itself. When it comes to self-confidence, I’m from the Kanye West school of personal development. But when its time to take action, my mind asks 2 million questions. 1 of the 2 million questions is always, “maybe you aren’t the coldest?” And sometimes I believe it. But on the bright side, the truth of the matter is that I’m so good that I can game the best (me) into thinking he’s not himself. Damn, I’m good - kind of.
So now, in this moment, I’m saying - no, I’m decreeing (I grew up Baptist) that I will consistently and fervently take the action steps to achieving the manifesting of my goals, visions, and dreams. I will focus on the life I want to live. The closer I get to my goal the more I will desire and act to see its completion. I am the best. In times of uncertainty or instability my confidence in my abilities to produce, magnetize, or manifest whatever I desire will have no choice to come forth because of my indomitable will power and relentless calculated efforts. I want it now, because I already have it and appreciate its presence, because I know it appreciates mine.